$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
