Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
