got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
