I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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