Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
