I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
