a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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