you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
