I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
