I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
