I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
