Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
