this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You pole danced in your parka.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
