Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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