I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
