It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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