True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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