she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize