i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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