would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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