...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
