Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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