She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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