we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize