Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
