i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
