Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
