Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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