In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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