I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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