I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
