The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
