i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
