dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
