My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
