i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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