So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
