i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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