I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
