i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
