we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
