I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
