he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
