i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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