I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
