Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You need Xanax blowdarts
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
