clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
