We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
