You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
