hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
