Yo dont text me then not text me
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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