did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
