put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
