we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
