I wish I could punch you in the face.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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