That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize