i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize