you guys were way drunker than both of me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
