She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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