im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
