am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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