sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm too high and old for this...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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